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Kipple is useless objects, like junk mail or match folders after you use the last match or gum wrappers or yesterday's homeopape. When nobody's around, kipple reproduces itself ... the entire universe is moving towards a final state of total, absolute kipple-ization.
— Philip K. Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

I didn't see it, therefore it either (a) doesn't exist, or (b) it's your fault

all those years I lived with my Narcissist, I learned a Very Important Truth:

if he didn't know something or do something, it was either because (a) it didn't actually exist in his universe or (b) I'd failed somehow to make sure he knew or did what he was supposed to.

my lion tattoo

when I turned 40, I got a lion tattoo. a lion rampant, holding the sun in its paws. to me, it represents my spirit. I'm stronger than I ever thought I was.

that year, my life changed more than it had at any time during the 15 years before, which is saying a lot. I'd had two children during those previous years, but this year I started to wake out of a stupor and see my husband for what he is.

dropping a bomb

my ex announced to the kids this weekend that he has a girlfriend.

all I'd like to say is, good going, Scott. you obviously put no thought into how that news was going to effect the kids.

magic moments

I have a crystal clear image burned into my mind, a new favorite memory.

my little one started kindergarten yesterday. she's been beside herself for a week with excitement, wanting to try on all her new school clothes and wear her new shoes to play in the dirt.

she was uncertain for a moment about being left in this new place, but she settled into the new routine with her usual alacrity. I like her teacher, I think she'll be encouraged to learn the way she needs to be. she's a little sponge. she remembers things. she loves doing stuff, all kinds of stuff.

I've carried her little smiling face around in my head since yesterday, her eyes big and round and looking up at me, radiating love and trust. her face on the first day of kindergarten is my new favorite memory.

her daddy never called.

if you explain something to a Narcissist, and you don't record it on film, did it really happen?

there are common threads in Colorado state agencies that I find interesting. I called to find out if the family support registry plans to collect the (now) over $5000 in child support arrears, and they plan to collect only $200 per month. I pointed out to them that it will take over 2 years to collect it, and I've borrowed money to cover it that is costing me more than that per month just in interest, and doesn't it seem like I've been used long enough as a revolving credit account for a man who has money to pay?

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