today I feel really good. the fact that I feel really good today throws into sharp relief how NOT good I've been feeling for the last five years.
the bad feelings twisted my gut and interrupted my sleep and concentration. that's what happens when you deal with PTSD and you find yourself in a constant battle to stop an abusive ex-spouse with a personality disorder from destroying your family.
and yes, he did try, and I paid dearly for it in lost sleep, nightmares, anxiety, and physical pain. our children paid for it with emotional scars from my narcissistic ex's efforts to win their devotion and admiration, or, as the family evaluator stated it "inappropriate alienating behavior" by teaching our kids that "the use of conflict is a means by which one may achieve one's desires".