dropping a bomb
my ex announced to the kids this weekend that he has a girlfriend.
all I'd like to say is, good going, Scott. you obviously put no thought into how that news was going to effect the kids.
I waited two years to tell the kids about my someone special. there was no reason for him to be on their radar until he became something permanent. the kids didn't know he existed. my ex, however, seems to have gone from being too busy for a girlfriend to wanting her to be part of my kids' life, in less than two months (if his myspace updates are anything to judge by).
I have two big issues with this. and I'm going to leave you breadcrumbs, Ronda, so if you really want to, you can find Scott's ex-wife's page and find out what it is you've hooked up with.
1. why introduce the kids to someone who could very well be temporary? the kids say she's nice. maybe she is. she's a mom herself. I just don't see a good reason to drag the kids into a new relationship. Ronda, I hope you have the sense not to do it to your kid.
2. this Ronda woman is either really great, or a psycho bitch from hell. I'm inclined to think that a malignant narcissist would choose someone nice, in order to get the attention supply flowing. if she's nice, she doesn't deserve the treatment in store for her if she commits to this long-term. Ronda, Scott can maintain the nice guy facade for a year if you keep feeding his ego, then things will start to slip here and there. he'll rely on you telling him where he's screwing up, and he'll make small corrections so as to appear like he cares about you, but he'll keep doing the same things over and over.
now, if she's a psycho bitch, I don't want her around my kids, no matter how long she sticks around.
so, moving on... what does it do to a kid to find out his dad has a girlfriend? my son cried. he's devastated. why? because my ex told him that he was going to move here. obviously that won't happen with a girlfriend, will it Ronda? I explained to my son that the girlfriend really has nothing to do with it, because people can move for their kids and make personal sacrifices. I did. but my ex is different. if it feels good right now, he won't move here even if it was the best thing for our kids. I don't want my ex to move here, I know it's better for the kids if he's not around, so in my mind the girlfriend gives me a sense of comfort that I won't have to deal with the ex up close for a while.
I know there's no chance my Narcissist will ever act with anything like consideration for our kids. it makes me feel bitchy when he does something this stupid, when he acts with no thought for how the kids feel about anything... which is pretty much what he does all the time.