my Narcissist thinks he's a sensitive guy
his myspace page starts out "I am sensitive guy"... never mind that it makes him sound like a whiny neanderthal. I'm hung up on the word sensitive.
what does it mean that he's sensitive? Narcissists have no empathy, so when they feel, it's only the slights and criticism of others against them that they feel. if their children are hurt, their feelings are a result of the impact on their self-image -- embarrassment, irritation, rage, pride (that they made some recognition for their child possible by their very existance as the parent).
my son confided in me months ago that his dad planned to move near us. I was satisfied with that intention, as it seemed to show some natural feeling toward our kids and at that point I was still in a state of frustrated ignorance about what was wrong with him. I still thought he was just irresponsible and a pathological liar. I didn't figure he'd lie to his son to nurture what Sam Vaknin (as far as I can determine) has coined Narcissistic Supply.
my son told me a couple of days ago that he'd brought up the subject again with his dad a few weeks ago and was told by his dad that he has no plans to move because he has a life and a girlfriend.
where's the sensitivity? if there was ever a good time to lie, that would have been it. make some excuse, instead of telling the kid "you're not part of my life and the fact that I have this woman to have sex with is far more important to me than being with you."
the me that is now is happy that he's showing his insensitivity to his children. in fact, he's making it far too easy. as long as I'm there to show them the difference between sanity and insanity, they won't grow up thinking that what their dad hands them is love. they won't hate him like they would if I conspired with him to make this seem normal, and they won't hate me. they'll just grow up knowing it's their dad who's broken, not them.