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mia's blog

the art of war

I've been reading Sun Tzu's Art of War. In it, he says:

"Ground on which each side has liberty of movement is open ground."

I realize that's where I had deluded myself into thinking I stood at one point, both during and after my divorce. I simply could not conceive of parenting children with someone unless we both had liberty of movement. I believed that although we were, at heart, enemies, co-existing on open ground meant safety from attack because it would be foolish for either of us to do so.

lost and found

I can't believe it's been almost a year and a half since I've added to my story.

it's not like nothing's been going on. I've packed in so many life changing events in the past 16 months, I'm not sure how I survived.

I think one reason that I stopped writing was fear that my blog would be used against me in court, to try to make me look crazy. I'm over that at this point. I have enough documentation to prove I'm not crazy, and I feel like this story needs to be told because I can't be the only person who's ever had to deal with this. it's lonely. finding out you're not insane -- that you just feel that way because you've been manipulated for so long -- it frees you to move on with your life.

"I was wrong."

it's like a broken record.

"I was wrong to do that".

the fabulousness of it all

where do I begin?

I last blogged over two months ago... not from a lack of things to blog about, but more as a result of that feeling of having my hackles up and needing to be careful of what I say, where I say it, and to whom I say it.

180 degrees

amazing how things change in two short months.

I did write to Ronda. I took a chance, hoping that I'd find a cooperative ally in a divorced mom raising a boy on her own. I gave her our background in a four page letter, and asked her not to come on visitation trips.

then she emailed me, and I learned some things... they'd been living together for six months and were engaged to be married. that he'd confessed everything to her, even the abuse. she knew he owed me a lot of money and expected him to pay me back.

I was left in wonderment over how gullible we females are. what is it in us, that when a man says "yes, I lied, stole, hit my wife and neglected my kids, but I really want to change" that we want to take him under our wings and nurture him into being a whole person?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US???

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